So here I am standing, for the most part, alone. Very few of the friends I actively chose are still with me... In fact, can count those remaining on 1 hand even tho I have walked through fire with many.
A few years ago I watched someone very dear to me that I had stood by during circumstances she wasn't even aware existed choose to walk away from me over imagined insult. I sought to mend our friendship & found myself openly, publicly shunned. Heartbroken, I sat on my couch 1 afternoon & prayed 1 of those prayers... you know, the type "What did I do? Why so much animosity? Do I really have to do this?" During that conversation I felt God's voice say simply "It is enough." In that moment something inside me changed. A sense of peace as profound as any I've ever felt before came over me & I knew I could let go and watch her walk away.
Since that time I have not been compelled to hold on to anyone that choose to walk away from me... not even the husband that I had chosen to love for life. It is painful to watch, I admit, but it is no longer exhausting...
I am unsure why I needed to tell this story. I believe, though, that it relates to my examination of my name & it's power over my life... bear with me... If it fits in then we will get there.
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