Bring on 2012

Welp, it's New Year's Eve.  The thing to do, according to what I am seeing out there, is to take stock of 2011 and decide on our goals for 2012...  right?

I can say that 2011 was among the best I've seen in my 39years...  it was without a doubt one of the darkest,  loneliest & most difficult.  2011 was a year of adjustment & restlessness... but I emerged and stood in who I am regardless.

So what about 2012?  Time to make some resolutions?  Okie dokie, let's see what we've got...

First, I will hold my children when they ask it & when if they don't ask it often I will ask them.  We need each other. Our days are busy & frustrations never cease but we stay connected to each other and this is of utmost importance.

Second, as I watch the emerging talents of my children & speak into them I will look for places to stretch their abilities.  It has been a tight year, I have not been able to provide them with voice or dance lessons... but I must feed there passions somehow... I must find a way...

Third, I will sing this year... I did not sing publicly at all this past year as I reveled in a bit of anonymity that I honestly have never had in any community I've been a part of.  Everyone knows me as the bellydancer mother of 5, but I was not allowed to dance growing up so singing was my first real outlet for the immensity of emotion I harbor in this tender little heart of mine & it will always be my 1st love.  I have been on a quest to rediscover myself & I have never been able to hide when I sing...  my very soul is laid bare...  My children need my voice.  I will sing.

Lastly, I will know who my friends are and allow the toxic people in my life to walk away.  Those "friends" that I only hear from when they want something.  Those that will imagine insult where there is none.  Those that would judge me for not choosing a path that they think I should walk.  *This one was on my list last year & will be again next year*

Only 4?  Well, ya...  cuz I made an amazing discovery in 2011...  I really LIKE who I am! I like who I am becoming and ya know, I like who I've been! Shoot, I even like what I look like! That may sound condescending or arrogant & ya, I've been accused of that recently, but I don't care! I LIKE that I know stuff! I LIKE that I challenge the things that fly out of peoples mouths! I LIKE that I can be irreverent! And... I LOVE that I am sensitive & tender-hearted!!! I no longer consider it weakness!!! It is my GREATEST STRENGTH!!!

Happy New Years everyone but don't forget that EVERY day, every BREATH is a new beginning!!! Rachel~

Bring on 2012!!!

Strider is a bad word in my world...

BoyBaby woke up with a croupy cough around 11 or so last night.  Crying makes the strider worse, bless his heart.  He scares me when he gets like this. I sat up & held him til 3 or so when his breathing finally started sounding normal again.  Today has required quite a bit of coffee...